


We’ve had one, yes, but what about second bodyswap

by HazelHare



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: "what if they body swap when they're having sex" I said to myself, Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Bodyswap, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Except that Aziraphale is borrowing it, Except that Crowley is borrowing it, Femme Crowley, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Other, Sex, and then I wrote it, did I write this fic because of the joke at the end?, idiots to lovers, listen there is some sex but mostly the scene fades to black, non-binary Crowley, yes i did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 07:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20004883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelHare/pseuds/HazelHare
Summary: Aziraphale's never tried a feminine shape, so Crowley suggests borrowing their body for a while, while it's arranged in a somewhat feminine way, so he can try it out?It's the 'try it out' bit that Aziraphale wasn't quite expecting...





	We’ve had one, yes, but what about second bodyswap

Aziraphale shifted a little uncomfortably as Crowley stared unblinking at him.

“What, _never_?!”

“No!” Aziraphale exclaimed, clasping his hands together. “I am perfectly comfortable in my own appearance, thank you.” He shook his head.

“I’ve never seen the need for any kind of-“ Aziraphale broke off, waving his hands vaguely, “-adjustment to the general shape that She gave me.”

Crowley smiled, and knew that what their Angel really needed was a bit of persuasion.

“I have tried on all kind _s_ of shapes,” Crowley hissed. “It’s always me, just a little adjustment.” They shrugged. “Like a winter coat.” (Or shedding your skin, they thought privately.)

“I don’t have a winter coat. I regulate my own temperature.”

More persuasion, eh? Crowley reached into their mental lucky dip of things marked ‘Aziraphale’, swirled their fingers around and picked out the nearest.

“It’s _fun_.”

A flicker of interest.

“Oh? Is it, really?”

A hurried glance and a smile, and Crowley had him.

“And anyway,” they glanced off to the side, casually, as though this had not been tremendously rehearsed, “you can borrow mine if you like.”

Aziraphale instantly looked guilty, and a little anxious.

“Yo- yours?”

Crowley gestured at their sprawled shape and shrugged a little.

“Yeah, why not? Then you don’t have to change your shape; you’re just trying it out.”

“Trying it out…”

*

The phone rang in Crowley’s flat the next day. The phone never rang unless it was Aziraphale calling; a few threatening motions with a pair of scissors had terrified it sufficiently to never let anyone else through.

“Good morning, An-“

Aziraphale cut them off, eagerly.

“Yes, hello, good morning dear. And- _yes._ ”

“Yes?”

“Let’s try it.” He smiled and put the phone down, just as the bell rang at the front door. “I’m terribly sorry, we’re closed this morning.”

Crowley dashed in, panting, car strewn casually across the road and the pavement, where a bollard had obligingly leapt out of the way.

“Hi- angel – thought I’d just get here quickly- hi, hello.”

Aziraphale’s eyes narrowed a little in suspicion.

“I just called you at your flat, which is at least eight minutes away.”

“It was my mobile phone; I was already nearly here.”

“ _I_ called _you_!”

“Look, the important thing is: I’m here now. So, do you want to try being a woman in my body or not?”

Aziraphale took up his anxious, guilty look again.

“Yes,” he said quietly, in a tight, pinched voice.

Crowley shifted their physique a little, like a minor shudder, and was delighted to realise that their outfit already fit their new form. They smiled and reached out a hand.

*

Aziraphale reached out towards Crowley’s extended hand. He swallowed hard and gripped.

The next sensation was almost impossible to describe. If one were to film it, in a cinematic masterpiece one wished to sell in as many countries as possible, perhaps it might look like two pixelated beings zooming towards one another in a Technicolor tunnel, merging and unmerging and gasping in a pulse of light.

Though, to experience, it was like that feeling one had when one’s foot missed a step, a sudden swooping and a blink and then one was standing looking at one’s own unfamiliar, slightly shocked face.

He was in Crowley’s body. And it was unfamiliar. And it was exceptionally unfamiliar in some new and quite interesting ways. His - Crowley’s? – hand raised up towards his chest, absently brushing down this new area of existence and blinking a little at the sensation. Oh _gosh_.

He snapped his hand back to his side, and smiled blandly at Crowley, who was wearing his own physique with an unfamiliar slouch.

“Well,” he started, and opened and closed his mouth a few times. “Oh, new teeth. That’s quite a peculiar experience.”

“You only wore my face a few weeks ago,” protested Crowley, frowning at him with his own face. 

It was one thing exchanging the familiar bickering, but quite another to argue with himself.

Aziraphale cut through Crowley’s chatter.

“I don’t suppose I could get some time alone?”

Aziraphale watched their face form an expression he couldn’t decipher, and that was infuriating beyond belief.

“Time alone?” his own face mocked him.

“Yes! I wish to experience this without you – staring at me with my own face.”

Crowley raised their hands and backed off, smiling in an entirely unfamiliar fashion. They raised an eyebrow, smiled on their way to the front door, and turned.

“Have fun,” they drawled. Was that a wink?

The bell tinkled and Aziraphale was, finally, alone. In Crowley’s body. In Crowley’s feminine body.

Oh _gosh_. He fell backwards onto an obliging armchair.

*

It was a few hours later, and a nice glass of whiskey tasted in an unfamiliar mouth, and he was brushing his hands up and down his new arms. Aziraphale glanced anxiously to the corners of his bedroom, as though people may have suddenly been watching him, and raised another hand to his chest, fingers curving at the unexpected shape.

He swallowed hard and felt an unfamiliar warm sensation in his legs.

 _Oh_.

Between his legs.

Oh, there was- oh my.

Aziraphale had never really bothered with anything in that department, but now there was definitely something, and he was gradually becoming more and more aware of its… possibilities.

He looked down at his arm, observing the goosebumps. And my goodness, there were goosebumps absolutely everywhere.

He drew his hand away sharply, and wondered whether this was quite proper. This was his body for now, after all, but this was Crowley’s body. He couldn’t just inhabit it without inhibition.

He reached for the telephone with slightly unfamiliar fingers, and dialled Crowley’s number.

“Hello Angel, having fun?” his own voice drawled at him.

“Well, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about- hang on a moment – what do you mean, ‘fun’?”

“This is the opportunity of a lifetime, Angel; you enjoy yourself. I mean it.”

The receiver clicked, and Aziraphale was left a little startled.

Righto, then.

*

A bath, a relaxing one with bubbles and low lights.

Aziraphale tried to avert his eyes while undressing, which proved more than a little challenging. He settled on covering his chest with his own hands, which created more problems than it solved as his fingers made contact with surprisingly sensitive skin.

‘!’

He sank into the water, finding it to be the perfect temperature he was expecting. Baths always were. He felt his body relax and stretch; warmth and water making him aware of his new physical form.

It was really quite pleasant.

He gingerly drew a finger along his forearm, watching hairs raise in response. From there, it was a small, leisurely journey across the stomach and, hmm, down.

Oh, this was quite unfamiliar. It- oh. Oh!

Aziraphale’s eyes closed, lost in sensation.

*

Crowley’s phone rang a few minutes later.

“…Yes, Angel?”

“CROWLEY. Crowley, did you know bodies could do this? Crowley, my goodness!”

Crowley stifled a laugh and smiled beatifically. They snapped their fingers.

*

Aziraphale started as Crowley appeared next to him, sitting on the edge of the bed, their clothed thigh touching his bare thigh. He went to draw his robe around himself, but Crowley tilted their head questioningly.

Ah yes. It was their body, wasn’t it? They had seen it before.

Aziraphale gently let the robe drop.

“Angel,” they murmured. “In answer to your question, I assure you I was entirely aware of the possibilities that this body can provide. However.”

Crowley’s gaze dropped and they grinned.

“I’m not completely certain that _you_ are.”

*

Time had elapsed.

Aziraphale’s brain was a fuzzy, glittery mess from the day’s discoveries of sensations and possibilities.

Crowley laughed gently, kissing their way back up to Aziraphale’s face and closed eyes.

A moment of quiet, softness and breathing each other in.

“Ready for the next discovery?”

Aziraphale drew them in for a hungry kiss, which said, _yes_.

Crowley smiled between kisses, and added a new discovery. Aziraphale’s eyes snapped open, astonished, arching towards them.

“Oh, _yes_ ,” he breathed.

*

More time had elapsed.

They were both collapsed in a sweet, uncomplicated muddle of happiness on Aziraphale’s bed. At some point they seemed to have returned to their original bodies, perhaps when they had both entirely lost concept of any difference between ‘self’ and ‘other’.

Crowley smiled to themself, wrapping Aziraphale in their arms.

“You know, Angel, when humans say ‘Go fu-”

“Darling, shh,” Aziraphale mumbled, his face buried in Crowley’s warm arms and chest.

“’-ck yourself’, it’s a lot more enjoyable than the phrase would suggest.”

*


End file.
